Monday, February 16, 2009

drive me crazy

WOW.

That was a close fucking call! I never thought that realizing that I was just gaining weight would make today the happiest day of my life!

Happy belated Valentine's day!! I spent my first Valentines day with someone this year. Really, it's just an overrated commercial holiday, used as a ploy to dig deeper and deeper into societies wallets. Why I celebrated it this year.. I don't know. I just really like the guy. =) It's been almost 3 months between us, and I think it might be too early to say that I love him. My friend says that she can tell that I am 'falling in love' with him, but I don't know how or why. We fight constantly. We get under each others skin and drive each other nuts half the time. We fight, then make up. Over stupid things too. I don't want to get too close, I don't want to get hurt, I know this won't last forever. Maybe Johnny is right, maybe I am scared of commitment.

Second semester this year is a cake walk.

Geography- I already have 100% in that class, talk about easy.
Baking- my favorite past time, and I'm on all the chef's good side because I know what I'm doing. Grade 12 English- my one grade 12 class, and it's pretty much reading and doing comprehension questions. So far that class is slack.
Biology- pretty much the hardest class I have this semester. But I can do it. =)

I'm in the process of branching off and figuring out my life. Which to me means that I have to leave A&W soon. I love who I work with, that's how I met the boy after all, but I'm not going anywhere, and my checks are dwindling smaller and smaller. Is it greedy to feel like I deserve more? I'm also considering universities. Meaning I must step it up a notch in school. I'm going to work my fucking ass off for the next 16 months until graduation. I fucking need out of Winnipeg, out of my house.. I need my independence! So far the two paths I am considering are pastry chef or social work. Perhaps an addiction counselor? We'll see, I still have time, but it is running out ever so slowly..
This is my place to get away and write down my personal feelings and thoughts. All are welcome to read.