Hey guys!
How are we all doing tonight? I see that the same old drama is being brought back up. Don't let it get to you, you're all better than this bickering. (yes, anons, that includes you ;) Did everyone have a Happy Tuesday? I sure hope so! Tomorrow I'm going to spend the day sleeping, then calling around to different tattoo parlours for my piercing. I'm soo stoked; too excited for words.
Anyways; so much shit has gone on recently, as I said in my earlier comment, so I haven't been able to come around. As I have told Fimble Star via myspace messages, my parents have taken a break from their relationship. I've been living without my dad for a week, and really, I don't care. Well, I guess I do, but I'm trying not to let it get to me. My mom seems happier, so that's what matters most, right? If she can stay strong, then so can I. =D
But, all of this shit has yet again made me stronger. It's making me more independent. I'm ready to help my mom out if she needs it. I can't bring myself to have a civilized conversation with my father though. I blame him, obviously. He's the one who decided to walk out the fucking door. It was his choice to make, and he made it.
You know that feeling you have in your gut-- no not the one saying your hungry-- but the one that tells you that you made the wrong choice? Yeah, I think I'm scared of that feeling. I've felt it soo many times before. I'm always stressing out when the time comes to choose what path to take. I'm not totally scared of the outcome, I'm scared of making the wrong choice. It's nerve-wracking to not know if things would be different if you had chosen a different direction. I'm only beginning Grade 11 in September, yet this is the time where I'm beginning to think about college, university, and life after high school. I've looked into a few, and I only know one thing-- I want out of Winnipeg. I think I will be ready to spread my wings and leave the nest, I'm just not sure if my parents will be ready for it.
I still have dreams of taking my guitar playing professionally, but I know that that is nothing but a dream. But then again, you should always follow your dreams. Take what is in your heart and make it into a reality.
Anyways; RAWR.
xoxox;
- 007
<3
9 comments:
Hey, paper from the heart!
I'm sorry you're having parent problems. I hope it gets to a better place soon.
You know, you totally amaze me with your maturity.
I don't mean to sound bad for saying it amazes me, I just see and know alot of people that are old enough to be your young grandparents and don't have half the maturity and sane cells and grace as you.
Take care of your not so innocent self. And good luck with your piercing! It's going to be badass.
Bubbles, honey, I know you are not feeling so bubbly right now, and I wish there was some magic words or wand waving that would take the hurt and pain away from you. You are strong, even if you don't feel like it sometimes, and it's ok to feel not strong and small sometimes. There are lots of people here to help you, and even though that may not be much, it is given with love.
Please take care of yourself.
Love you,
L.
hey PH!
i am sorry i am never around when you are! i still remember our race to 4000 comments ages ago!
so sorry to hear about your parents' situation. i really hope you are OK.
take care of yourself!!
Hello O Wise One,
I left a quick note to you on the blog but it bears repeating. Take time, make no snap decisions or judgements and adjust to the change.
Take care of yourself and be aware that you still need to look after yourelf, as well as your Mum.
Also - thank you so much for my birthday wishes, they all made my day; so many smiles from so many people - all over the world!
I'm watching you 0_0
hi my fave teenager,
how´s life treating you? just wanted to say hi and wish you a nice sunday :)
tae care and ncie greets from rainy northgermany *brrrr*
hugs xoxo
pixie
Hiya PH sweetie.
Thank you for your lovely words on my blog.
I am so amazed that with all the rubbish going on in your life right now, you still find the time to comfort others.
You are such a special person sweetie. I hope your life turns around soon cos you deserve some serious happiness sweetie.
Luv you xxxxx
before i say anything else: of course you're a good friend!! i've never thought anything else!
*hands on hips, mock scowl*
*relents*
:)
i don't know if you saw the news last night, but i heard from my doctor yesterday -- they still don't know exactly what the heck the lump on my breastbone was (maybe some sort of scar tissue...?) but they do know what it isn't:
not cancer, not even close.
:D
*hugshugshugshugshugshugshugs*
now, don't worry about not being at the blog so much. sometimes, the stuff going on in real life is more important, even if it just seems like it's day-to-day stuff. you know where you need to put your energy, and you also know that your friends in blogbelieve *coughlikemecough* will be here for you no matter what, and welcome you when you do visit, and understand when you don't. ♥
i love that you took the time to stop by my blog, and i love what you wrote. i always hope that you are doing well, i know that things are tough for you right now, but i have faith in you -- i think you are a very compassionate person who is always trying to understand herself and the people in her life, and that is a strength that will help you make it through every difficulty.
it's a strong heart that will carry you through.
remember that we are always here to reinvigorate your courage when you need it.
oh...
i think...
i need to say...
RAWR!
*heehee*
*hugs*
see you soon. :)
♥
PH,
You seriously amaze me, and blow my mind at the same time.
You're so strong, and you just pour courage. And when you hit bumps in the road, you acknowledge them, and you attempt to do something about it, and if you can't, you move on. That's a really great trait, and I'm not sure if that's even the right word, to have. :)
I still have dreams of taking my guitar playing professionally, but I know that that is nothing but a dream. But then again, you should always follow your dreams. Take what is in your heart and make it into a reality.
Dreams are pretty much the only thing we have that are ours. And with some time and patience, we can make them come true. Don't give up on that.
Sending you lots of love and support for the things you're dealing with right now.
Do remember to take some PH time, okay?
See you around. :)
Hiya PH!
Just checkin in, seems like you're always headed off to bed when you're online!
I hope everything is going well for you and your parents.
Enjoy yourself Kiddo! One month left!
-A
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