She found out that I started smoking. She didn't freak out like I thought she would.
"You don't have to be embarrassed.. but.."
*thinks of worst possible thing ever imaginable."I know you've been smoking. I'm not mad."
*breaths sigh of relief*
"Drinking I understand, smoking is tolerable. Drugs. Are. No."
"I love you mommy. =)"
"Love you too. "
*leaves room in silence*
*leaves room in silence*
Shit. I thought I was done for!
I think that my mom is more upset because we used to be so open with eachother. I think she is wondering why I didn't tell her these things. It's hard having to be the perfect little daughter who works and goes to school. I know, I'm just making up excuses now. It's my personal choice and I'm glad that she accepts that.
I think that my mom is more upset because we used to be so open with eachother. I think she is wondering why I didn't tell her these things. It's hard having to be the perfect little daughter who works and goes to school. I know, I'm just making up excuses now. It's my personal choice and I'm glad that she accepts that.
Anyways; work. What a doozy! So, I've had a teeny little crush on my co-worker for a while and lately, he's been confusing the fuck out of me! I don't know what he wants from me, he's sending these weird mixed signals. I love talking to him, because he understands what I'm going through. He's an amazing friend. Maybe it's not a crush, maybe it's just like.. he's like, my best friend. I'm not sure anymore. He pushes my buttons and he loves pissing me off. I hate seeing him upset so I'm always trying to cheer him up.
This blog to me sounds fucking ridiculous. Reading it over.. I'm thinking "Wow. I sound like such a fake. Someone who I would. not. like."
This post proves to me that I am not liking my actions. Fuck.
I'm done with this one, but I won't delete it, because to me, that's weak.
This blog to me sounds fucking ridiculous. Reading it over.. I'm thinking "Wow. I sound like such a fake. Someone who I would. not. like."
This post proves to me that I am not liking my actions. Fuck.
I'm done with this one, but I won't delete it, because to me, that's weak.
5 comments:
Well i can't say I am sorry that your mom found out you were smoking. IT is bad for you.
But you don't know snicker doodles? You smoke cigars but don't know snicker doodles. You need more snickerdoodles in your life. They are good for sitting down and talking with people.
hi PH!!
This blog to me sounds fucking ridiculous. Reading it over.. I'm thinking "Wow. I sound like such a fake. Someone who I would. not. like."
well i like you! but it's good that you are using your brain also!
hey we all experiment with stuff. it's called "learning"!
i first tried smoking when i was about 12 yrs old. it became more of a permanent fixture at 16 yrs old. i've been on and off with it from then on. my mum still doesn't know i have ever smoked!! i know fucking ridiculous right! but i am still her little girl!
with drinking alcohol, i started pretty young, about 14 yrs i guess (kind of a British thing, although not pretty), it's fun i know to relax, unwind and act like a crazy person! just be careful PH! i shudder when i look back at all the situations i found myself in when i was your age that could have turned out so much worse! make sure you have good friends around you to help you out! so important!
re drugs, never a big thing for me, just the usual experimentation but i had enough trouble keeping the legal ones under control!
take care PH you are a sweet, thoughtful young woman and you appear light years ahead of your age. but you are still only 16 yrs old, just look after yourself yeah!!
OK long comment over! shit i should be off this computer, the bloke is a staring!
♥
Thank you for the squeezes! ^_^
*hugs!*
*waves back at niece*
i hope you have a great halloween, and i'll look forward to hearing all about it! i'm only getting halloween through other people these year, so, you know...no pressure! lol
i'm sorry i hardly ever make the full rounds of blogbelieve anymore. i'm just lazy. :/
but it's good to pop over here and see what's going on with you. be careful, of course, know your limits. you know.
talk to you later! *hugs*
Really, though.
What does it mean to be 'fake'? I'm not sure I understand. Because your feelings are confused about your co-worker? Because of the smoking?
It's okay to not know exactly where you stand all the time or who you are.
Our personalities are alot more fluid than we like to think. Saint one moment, devil the next. But it's all still you.
Hi, by the way.
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