Autumn Leaves

I just got back from in-car drivers ed classes. I am proud to say that I can properly parallel park! I'm getting there, and at this rate, I'll be hitting the road to freedom in no time!

I feel completely alone. It seems as if all of my friends are finding "boyfriends", or interests. They're all pairing off like it was fucking Noah's Ark, and then there's me... by herself. I'm not totally complaining. I love them to death, and if their happy, then I'm happy for them. I've always had this self-consciousness-- this overwhelming sense of insecurity. I'm not gorgeous, I know that, I'm not thin, I know that, and I don't have boobs, that I can see for sure. I try my hardest to be happy with who I am, but sometimes it just becomes unbearable. My nose has a bump, my mid-section is wide, my hair is too short, my legs are so chicken-legged.. What if I tried looking at the good parts of myself rather than seeing the bad? See, that's the thing with me.. I always see the bad parts in myself. Maybe it's just harder to envision a non-distorted image. Our species is guilty for being our own worse critics. Overall, we are too hard on ourselves. I am one of those people.

My philosophy is, if you have a problem with me, get over it. I'm not going to change just for you. If you don't like who I am, then you know where the door is. I'm soo tired of people telling me what to do, who to be. Don't compare me to anyone else.